12th of March.

Is 2am now, just back from MV and have a drink with that idiot. When i was back home that time, i was racing with an MyVi, oh yeah i hate MyVi's. Rain just stops and i knew my tire only got less % left. So when it comes to cornering i can feel my whole car slide over the other side, and you know what is quite fun! I love tailgating and street racing when I'm alone ;p Ohya, just remember something last year, my birthday wish. Ok its fake! What i wish for it is not reality, i mean half went right half is fake. I wish for be with her longer and wish everyone happy. So the first part was wrong and second was right, she's happy now. I'm so confused when i went MV, i keep telling myself don't think anything other than just walk ahead, but no, my mind just forcing me to think back what she said to me! Wtf! Come'on cow, you need to forget it! Why is it this kind of girl so easily get to move on and why i can't? Boys should be tougher than girls! Maybe you're rite, I'm like a girl, fragile type guy. Once broken it takes plenty of time to mend it back. Why I'm so soft to girls? I always lose to girls. Maybe this is the advantage and disadvantage of me. Being a human is so suffering. Why can't i just have a normal life and everything goes normal. Can i just skip this experience. I'm over naive when comes to love matters. I feels like throwing away my phone, nowadays i always look at my phone wishing 'someone' text me or calls me like last time, yeah yeah i know, I'm dumb rite? Ya i know. Maybe she's texting with someone now. A love in her heart that slowly grew on others. I'm an idiot. Today noon i didn't see her on msn. At night i wrote something then there she is. Maybe now she's building relationship with others thru msn or texting :) If she think that she don't want to hurt me so much by be back friends again, i think you did hurt me badly. Is like we were doing fine and all of sudden *poof* end. I think is a bad ending and we will not going to be back friends again. But if we both 24/7 argue and dislike this and that, that maybe we can be back friends again and maybe a happy ending for both of us. Is like before and after. Totally different person. Maybe i wrote all of this in my blog, she might hate me! YES! I rather she hates me forever than be friends back. Ok thats all for now, is 3:30am. Tired.

Fuk la, can't sleep for 8 hours. Woke up at 9am, and forcing myself to sleep back but can't! Thinking this and that. Why i can't let go of this one, the others i let it go easily. Maybe those they give me the main reason and they got new one very fast, if this one gets a new one, everything will be over and of coz no more contact. If you want to be kind or good girl, i think you shouldn't say end in the middle when you're inside camp. And i know she's going out with her schoolmates to somewhere. Or maybe watch movie or walk around. How come she can be so happy? And why I'm suffering here. I can guarantee you that your studies won't affect us. I know first few days you gonna be boring but later you know new friends you will start to enjoy your college life. Or if you scared that new environment new guys, you might change your heart, then i know what kind of people are you. I want you back and i know it will never happen. I really can't let go of you. If you want to be so cruel why don't you just let go everything. If you want to be friend you're going to make me even more suffer. I don't know why i want to start relationship with you.