1st of Feb

At beginning me and her was really happy going thru what other couples do or does. When i first met her she was cute and sweet. Every time we see each other we will smile and cant say a word or maybe too happy. Till this CNY 09' i was not happy. I trusted her to go for National Service which started on 27th Dec08. Everything went fine, every weekend we often text and call each other but till. On the 25th of Jan09, i received a text saying that she wanna end our relationship in just 1 month time when she went for NS. At first i was stone for a moment thinking why she wanna end suddenly.

For the 1st reason she said our thinking and attitude incompatible and my negative thinking make her fed up. That time i was really sad and heart broken. Thinking why all of sudden she wanna end just like that, all we been through after 1 year plus. Our relationship have encounter suffering and happiness. And still we're together. Btw incompatible can change if each of us tolerate each other, everything can solve if we really love someone.

For the 2nd reason she told me that unless i tolerate her in 1 thing she dislike then she'll think about it. Without hesitate i reply her i can tolerate the problem that she dislike. But i wait and wait for her text but still no reply. And i know she's still not satisfied. I asked whether what she dislike i can change for her just to save this relationship. But still no reply from her. And so this is not an excuse because i already settle in year 08. Which mean this is just an lame excuse to end this relationship.



For the 3rd reason she says she wanna have her own world. But do we necessary need to end our 1 year plus relationship just for your own world? I'll give you know new friends but i also will worry you know wrong friends. And just tell me if you want your freedom when at camp, i wont disturb you when you want your freedom. Do we really need to end this? Why don't you discuss with me before you make this decision? Do you think is worth it?

For the 4th reason, she bring up her mum just to end this relationship. At first when we're together her mum knew our relationship and has nothing to say about it. All of sudden she said her mum dislike our relationship. And so do you think i will trust this lie? The funny thing is why don't she bring this problem out last year? Why she wanna bring out so many problem just to end? All is just an excuses.

In 1 month time when someone in National Service they do changed. Because of those new friends influenced you or can say 'brain wash' and maybe she just want someone to care for her inside. For me i cant do no shit when she's inside and I'm outside, because i knew NS can't simply let strangers go in. I just can call her every weekend. Do you think that is worth it to end a 1 year plus relationship and go for 1 month relationship? Do you think you can know him well inside?

I've called several friends of mine whom joined NS before which is girl. Think twice girl, when you ask them whether they got girlfriend or not, I'm sure that he will say NO. And they just wanna fool around inside with you because they also lack of caring and love. And for your age you're easy to change your heart. Because you just want some love and caring beside you. And my friend told me that they're a lot better guys inside the camp. You just want to make comparison between me and them. Do you think your move is right?

For almost a week we discuss a lot and i even beg her, saying i don't want to end this relationship with her and many more because is not worth it and i don't even have an solid answer why you wanna end. I even ask for my friends suggestion. But you just keep on rejecting and avoiding many questions of mine. And you stick to your decision. I really cant sleep well or even eat well. I know you can sleep well and even eat well. Because there is other who care for you.



I know i should trust you since you say you didn't admire any boys inside. But on second thought, girls will always say no. And since you betray my trust on you, I'm sure there is 3rd party inside. I even ask her whether will she change after undergoing for NS? she replied NEVER! HA! And now what i get from you? All my trust to you and love to you. You once said that I also can change and choose another girl which is better than her but why should I when I found who i really care and love? And do you think a person can change so easily in just *snaps!* 'I CHANGED'. Wth? And you said maybe our relationship wont last forever but hey why want to bother what's going to happen on future? Why don't we just be happy for the present days. The future is unforeseeable or unpredictable, you cant know what will happen. I'm really hurt.



Actually on saturday 31st of Jan09 we suppose meet up to discuss but you say you're busy in relatives house and will be back late. So you change date to sunday to 1st of Feb09 at noon. You slept till almost 2pm and you're going back to camp on 3pm. And i know that there's no time left to meet up so i called her and talk. At first i asked her whether we can maintain our relationship and just think for this 3 months you're in vacation and I wont be contacting her or texting her and after this NS we just forget or this 3 months we dont care it existed. At beginning you said we just be friends. Then i asked why she want to be friends? Why cant we maintain this relationship? She keep quiet in phone and finally she said 'ok lo' to maintain. But i know that time i was forcing her to maintain and i know force a relationship to happen is a bad thing because what is mine is mine and what is not is not but she can't tell me a reasonable why she wanna be back friend or end this relationship.

I cried for few days thinking why you wanna do this to me. Why in a sudden you say your love to me had become lesser. We're doing really fine when we are out on Christmas eve. I really don't know why you wanna say this. I received one of your text saying if we're together you cant handle me or got no time to care because you scare when some problems pops up and I'll be mad so you said cant handle and don't care. I know due to your busy schedule in NS but that doesn't mean you have to end this. I can just dont care about you for the 1 and the half months.

To release this depression i started smoke again. This is my life back then. Although you asked my friend to stop me from smoke and drink. There's no reason why i must care since your heart changed for another. If i die also i think is not your problem. All you care now is just your new partner. I know you dislike me talking/posting my problem to public but now i don't think why i shouldn't do this. I'm over depressed. I'm sorry.



For now all i can do is just wait for your answer on 11th of March09. Lets see who are you going to choose after that. 50% of my heart telling me you're choosing him, 50% of my hearts says have FAITH on you. A 1 year plus relationship or just in 3 month time relationship.